Martian Summers #1

Martian Summers #1 1989

Thumbprint Productions, Springfield, Virginia by David Neal Miller,

Sara Wildberger and Will Heyniger

The Way of All Flesh (our story title) unfurls with an opening featuring a Martian landscape and a quote from none other than Rodney Dangerfield. Okay, I'm in!

New Monaco, the Las Vegas of the stars (that is celestially and not referring to gamblers of celebrity status) where all manner of debauchery is available under its protective domes.

We slowly make our way into the apartment of a sleeping couple. When the alarm clock beeps and the lights come up it is revealed that the couple look like someone Rowdy Roddy Piper gawks at with his shades on in 'They Live'. Skinless bodies with all the muscles visible! Gross. I see their intestines. Someone just ate shrimp and corn!

Miranda tries on different skins as she decides who she wants to be today. I couldn't even imagine that kind of pressure. I've worn the same exact pairs of pants and shoes for a month and it still takes me a half hour to figure out what to wear in the mornings.

Her lover August gets out of bed to grab a shower. He tells her to wear her own skin, it's the one he likes best anyway. Awww, what a sweetie!

There are a couple of confusing pages here layout wise that I had to reread to figure out the panel order.  It's something that unfortunately really takes me out of the reading experience when it happens but luckily it is a problem that doesn't persist as the story continues.

Miranda gets dressed and makes an offhanded remark about how her job is great because it's as "warm as the Earth and all the slash you can slide down your throat." As if mouthing my own words, August pokes his skinless face out of the shower and asks, "What was that?'

She changes the subject and asks August not to bust the club she'll be working at. She needs the money. So, I guess August is some kind of Martian cop (like J'onn J'onzz). Awesome!

Miranda plants a kiss on her skinless fella and they say their goodbyes as they both head to their respective jobs.

Now, that's a great image!

August reports into work and is told he will be impersonating a man by the name of Aggart, a thug who is scheduled to give a report this evening to a group of scum known as "Core". A report, that is, on some kind of illegal import/export business going down. Hmmm... could it be that "slash" stuff Miranda was talking about earlier?

Miranda meets with the boss at her new job who hints that like a terrible Foreigner song he'd like her to do more than dance for some new clients tonight. Miranda declines like the classy Martian she is. She calls August and tells him to stop by the club and get some free drinks. He tells her he's working tonight but might just take her up on that after the meeting (which is taking place at her work)! 

August is supposed to just go in impersonating Aggart, record the thugs saying what they're up to and then get out of there. Seems easy enough until a call comes in from another thug who says he tried to bust Aggart out of jail but had failed to do so. Oh no, August's cover is blown!

A brawl ensues!

The bad guys escape before August's backup arrives. August meets up with Miranda who sarcastically thanks him for costing her a job. He embraces her, saying she has everything she needs already, but her thoughts reveal she may have a secret need that even August doesn't know about!

Oh no! Miranda's a slashhead! The End!

Well, I liked the freaky Clive Barker Hellraiser-esque visuals of the skinless August in a suit kicking ass so here is my rendition:

Alright! That certainly was an interesting one even if it was a quick read (there was a three page backup story that was completely unrelated so I'm not going into describing that one here). 

I thought the story was just fine and the artwork interesting and well done. Other than a couple of confusing pages at the beginning of the book it was a pretty good read.

There never was an issue two to this series so I guess we'll all have to come up with our own ending. I'm guessing Miranda, in a different skin, overdoses on slash and August is the one to find her body. Not recognizing her at first August discovers the horrible truth while in pursuit of the ringleader of this "Core".He then single handedly busts the drug ring in New Monaco and kills those responsible for getting the drugs into his sweetheart's hands.

He then quits the force and disguises himself in the skin of a pilot and leaves Mars once and for all.

At least that's my imaginings. What do you think happened?

If any of the creators of this book happen upon this post please enlighten us. 

Also, check out the sweet back cover to the book. Might be my favorite image in the entire comic!

Thanks to everyone for reading and be sure to check back in a month for my next review:

Until then, keep an eye out for the buried treasures in the bewildering world of small press and independent comics!

Future Beat #1

Future Beat #1 1986 $1.50

Oasis Comics Merritt Island, Florida by Tracy Schell and Richard Johnson

   Welcome to the Future Beat! Our tale begins with a mysterious gunman waiting in the shadows as a lady walks out of a dark room and out into the street. The gunman stops her and addresses her as if she is his lover. She doesn't seem to recognize him and seems confused when he begins questioning her.

But the questions give way to violence and he shoots her dead right there in the street. The next scene we see officer Bill Corben entering a seedy bar demanding to speak to someone by the name of Leo Ginelli. The bartender tells him to take a hike but Corben takes a moment to explain things to the smug tapster!

But as soon as Corben heads the way the barman motions he's stopped by a big dude in a suit. I swear this feels like one of those side scroller '80's games like Bad Dudes or something. I love it already!

Corben finds his way to Ginelli's office and starts chatting with the villainous looking businessman.

Ginelli doesn't seem intimidated by our man Corben and tells him to either arrest him or leave. Corben reluctantly exits, but not before telling Ginelli he'll be seeing him again soon.

We cut to the gunman from the first page alone in his spacious bedroom as he is seemingly about to let his other personality ("The Man") out to wreak more destruction.

Another crime scene. Another young lady. Corben approaches and takes a good look at the victim. Corby speaks up his theory that the killings are related. Not only that but he believes the killer is targeting specific women to get the attention of Ginelli's crime family.

We see a shadowy figure speaking with Ginelli via a view screen. He refers to this latest victim as his clientele and the third one killed this month! He seems pissed. Ginelli says he'll take care of it.

At the police precinct they discuss the murders. They vaguely refer to the places that the murders are taking place as ran by crime families and the victims as some kind of criminal. I'm starting to put together that these are abortion clinics...maybe? I dunno.

After the meeting one of the other cops asks Corben to go out for a drink. Corben informs him he only drinks coffee. That's right, Corby! Straight Fuckin' Edge! I would be straight edge too if I didn't smoke weed and drink beer. And caffeine. I have some caffeine once every day or two. Are vitamins allowed if you're straight edge? I take a B Complex pill with breakfast as well. 

Corben has a coffee with the other cop and ends up saying something awkward about the killer maybe not being such a sicko really. The other cop seems confused so they change the subject. He asks Corben who the lady in the photo on his end table is. Corben responds that it's his deceased wife. He seems flustered and asks the other cop to leave so he can get to bed.

We cut to the killer as he looks at himself in the bathroom mirror. 'The Man' is struggling to get out again. Violence is on the horizon once more.

And that's how the story ends. Is this killer some kind of other personality of Corben? Will he be stopped before he can claim another innocent life? Are people seeking abortions criminals in the future? I honestly can't get a handle on any answers to those questions after reading this first issue. There is in fact an issue two out there somewhere according to the internet, but I haven't seen it in my cheap bin diving thus far.

Oh well, I did enjoy this book even if it was a bit vague with it's plot points. The art was pretty nice and by a guy named Richard Johnson. Dick Johnson... I think he might do porn now.

And speaking of something for you to spank it to, here's my rendition of Corben:

I also want to say what a great cover this issue had. The color and logo design are top notch. The very definition of '80's design and visuals.

Also, there is a seven page backup story in this comic that I didn't read. It just looked incredibly boring and extremely wordy with absolutely no relation to the main story so I just skipped it. But if you pick up a copy and it's worth reading let me know. Is that a deal? Awesome.

And speaking of awesome... here's next month's book.  

Blow #1

See you next month!

Jim Nastics #1

Jim Nastics #1 1984 $1.50

Redstone Comics Fairhaven, New Jersey by William Mitchell and Alan Larsen

   So, going in I had no idea this would be a gymnast noir comedy. I mean, seriously. Has that ever been a genre of an anything? If so it's news to me. 

   But our story opens with our man Nastics finishing up his gymnast workout in his darkened office just as Ms. Ellen Faunt walks in to inquire about the secretarial position there. He hires her on the spot with Ellen kickstarting the comic by telling Nastics she wants to know everything about him first.

   And that's just what he does. Origin story! Jim's tale begins with the skinny on Hillary Landon. 

   "Hilly" became Nastics's lover. They were a perfect match... until Dr. Jefferson McCarthy destroyed everything! He stopped them after a performance one night and made a bizarre offer. He claimed to be doing research for the Olympic Council in the areas of stamina and endurance. He convinced them to let him perform his tests on them, explaining that once they submit to testing they would be blessed with abilities many times their current ones, thus out-performing their communist rivals! 

   McCarthy lives up to his name with the fervor of his plans to vanquish Communism. But will his plans succeed?

   Hell yeah they do! Lookit the way Hilly shoots around like a giant bouncy ball! And Nastics can do the same! They're like rubber legged daredevils now!

    Hilly takes part in the next Olympic Games and with her new abilities she wins it all! But Nastics, man of integrity that he is, can't sit idly as she undeservedly takes the gold.

   He spills the beans and Hilly becomes hopping mad. She and Dr. McCarthy are arrested right then and there with Hilly vowing to get her revenge for this betrayal. 

   Flash forward to the present where Nastics gets a mysterious phone call that alerts him to the possibility of a friend in trouble! It's Phylis Meyers (aka Phil), the US gymnast who found herself as leader of the womens events after Hilly's arrest. 

   Nastics uses his rubbery agility to leap into the window of the building where he tracked Phil. She informs him that her kidnappers were speaking in a foreign language and absconded with her dog Auf Auf (who also has super jumping abilities). I bet they are dirty communists!

   Just then we cut to little Auf Auf giving those foreign kidnappers the what for!!

   And we also get a glimpse of Hilly's present predicament in the government hospital where she resides. 

   She throttles her captors and makes her escape! Now, back to Nastics! He has tracked down Auf Auf's kidnappers and tries to stop them just before they take off in their plane...

   ...but they get away. It's not a total loss though as Nastics nabs one of their cohorts who was left on the runway. He threatens the kidnapper until he lays it all out for Nastics. They weren't foreigners at all, but Americans working for General "Bull" Dozer to kidnap Auf Auf and take him to Washington D.C.!  Nastics and Phil go back to his office to process this new intel... but who should show up on the last page of the comic? It's Hilly! She had decided to make amends with Nastics but gets the idea that Phil is trying to replace her in every facet of her old life... not just as the top US Womens gymnast but also as Nastics's lover! Hilly is pissed and once again vows her revenge!!

   And this is how issue one ends. Will Hilly have her reckoning? Will Nastics ever find true love? What are those US agents doing with Auf Auf in Washington?!? All these questions and more answered in issue 2 of Jim Nastics: Hero or Heel!  I hope. I've never seen issue two but apparently it does exist as the series has two issues listed on comics.org

   So what a weird and cool comic! I liked it lots. Here's my drawing of Nastics.

 

   Please be sure to check in again next time when we delve into the amazing looking treasure known as Future Beat!