Monday, October 1, 2018

Golden Dragon

Golden Dragon #1 1987
$1.50 U.S. $2.30 Canada
Synchronicity Comics San Francisco, CA.
By Ted Hales, Michael A. Martin and Marc Haines

It is just before dawn in the far off future year of 2019 when our hero Randall Gold parachutes down into the southern region of Chile. 

Gold quickly finds his way into a local watering hole to meet his contact, Ortiz. But suddenly one of the local women seems to take a liking to our man Gold!

When Lolita's "date" decides she is giving too much attention to this American he smacks her around. Gold doesn't like this one bit and starts brawling with the scum bag! Gold gets shot in the ensuing chaos and runs out of the saloon to find a place to hide before his cover is blown.

As  he's laying low in the jungle he is reminded of his first tour of duty in Chile back in 1998 when he was merely eighteen years old. He and his platoon were mowed down by the enemy and Gold was the sole survivor!

He trained back to health and moved to San Francisco. It was there he stumble into an alley to see an old man in a bowler hat getting mugged by some punk rock hooligans. But this old man was too tough and instead of playing the role of victim, he turned the tables on the punks!

Gold was so impressed by this shriveled old fella's ass kickery skills that he asked to become his pupil. And luckily the old man agreed!

One day during training, the sensei told Gold he was ready to be instructed in the ways of Dragons. The Dragons of Old China represented the balancing forces of the cosmos. The White Dragon was Good, the Black Dragon was Evil and the Grey Dragon was the balance between the two.

Randall Gold soon found himself facing the White Dragon!
The dragon warned our hero of a great evil descending upon his world. An evil only he can stop! He goes on to allude to a power within Randall Gold that he will eventually recognize and use against the forces of evil. He is the world's only hope!

After Randall awoke from his vision, he found the sensei had disappeared. Randall wasn't sure what to do with himself so he turned once again to the army. Randall was offered a part in a special Army project. He agreed and was instructed to visit a secret lab. Once there he was told of a project called A.L.I.C. 

Inexplicably, Randall knew this project would awaken the power that the White Dragon had spoke of  which waited inside of  him. A power he was surely about to unlock! So without hesitation, Dr. Nils Reinhold began the procedure. The effects were staggering!

Randall Gold's essence was transferred into a metal body. A body that possessed more power and endurance than that of a mere mortal. That is why he wasn't seriously injured by the gunfire at the bar earlier in our story... Randall's a damned robot!!

Randall walked off into the night to prepare for what awaits him in the jungles of Chile the next morning. And we are treated to a slow pan away from the jungle and into... the moon? 
Okay, whatever.

The back cover is sweet. It totally reminds me of the opening screen of some old NES game that never was. I can see it all pixeled up with that cheesy old eight bit music playing behind it. I love it!

Speaking of  cheesy graphics, here is my version of the Sensei about to kick the punks' asses with a  little help from his pal the White Dragon!

Pretty fun comic that had lots of '80's staples like martial arts, punk rock baddies, robots and military action... what's not to love about that?!

Unfortunately it looks like there was never an issue two of the series so we will have to guess for ourselves what adventures await our hero, Randall Gold.

But just in time for Halloween I will be reviewing this treasure in a few weeks here at the Bewildering. Don't miss... Lethal Lita!

Sunday, August 12, 2018

Morgana X

Morgana X #1 September 1991
$2.25 U.S. $3.00 Canada
Cat's Paw Comics New Milford, CT
Artwork and Story by Allen Freeman 
and Quinton Hoover

What a cover! A hover car! Chicks with guns! Airbrushed color! Are you kidding me? This is already better than anything on the stands today! Let's begin!

Our adventure unfolds with a man running through a dark alley, fleeing for his life from an as yet unseen predator. Suddenly he trips on a glass bottle and lands in a mound of cardboard boxes! Here he decides to hide for a moment and rest (and fondle himself, apparently).

Elsewhere, a dimly lit office on Sarot, the business planet where Kollor (it's self proclaimed ruler) informs the room that he has just hired Morgana X to apprehend Dekmar's minister of defense!

Dekmar ( for those of you who don't already  know) is the neighboring planet who has long been at war with Sarot. Kollor wants to expand his evil empire from Sarot and take over Dekmar as well! 

His cohorts are less than pleased, Morgana having recently foiled their plans to poison the food supply on Dekmar!
 Kollor explains that though true that Morgana has at times been a thorn in their side, she always gets the job done for whoever is paying her. She's the best!

Back in that dark alley, Morgana blasts the pile of boxes away to reveal Defense Minister Max's hiding spot.  I'm betting he's toast!

Back on Sarot, Kollor makes a call to some freaky alien criminals. They hate Morgana for having imprisoned them numerous times and are delighted when Kollor tells them exactly where they can find her. Oh no, our hero's been doublecrossed!

We see that defense minister Max is still alive and being stowed like so much cargo into Morgana's Air Vette by her sexy cohorts. It's always good to have sexy cohorts. 

Just as they blast off an alarm sounds. It's those freaky aliens...and they're trying to kill Morgana and the other sexy ladies! Hot dang, we've got ourselves a comic book!

Morgana outmaneuvers the attackers and escapes death this day! 

Kollor is informed of Morgana's escape and let's just say he isn't happy about it!

The sexy bounty hunters arrive at Dekmar where they have a secret base of operations in the desolate city.

Realizing she probably isn't going to get paid for this bounty, Morgana frees her prisoner and invites him to dine with her. 

Sexy bounty hunter ladies on the run from evil aliens...I think this is the best comic book I've ever read.

The story was kind of basic but it flowed really well and had a good pace. The art was solid as a rock too. Great work Allen and Quinton!

There is also a bonus Morgana backup story to add to the action...what a comic!

I liked the tough and smart way our main character is presented in this book. She reminds me of one of my favorite action heroes in film, Ripley from the Alien series. So, here is my depiction of Morgana X!

Looks like there was only one issue of this  series but there were a couple other one shots published years later by Knight Press and Humanoids. Look for 'em, I know I will!

Visit the Bewildering again next month and behold... Golden Dragon!

Wednesday, July 4, 2018

Cathair Apocalypse #1

Cathair Apocalypse #1 2016

In the summer of 2016 I was working at the comic shop when a fellow walked in with an energy and air about him that was wholly unique. He was dressed in black with cat tattoos upon  his arms. He went on to explain how he was an artist for some of the DC Comics kids books (Scooby Doo, I want to say) and was tired of not being able to pay his mortgage on the paltry amount of money he made from his work for hire drudgery. 

That is why he made the plunge into the deep end of creativity and produced Cathair Apocalypse! This was his new creator owned comic that he (along with  his pet cat) was touring across this fine nation selling copies to comic shops and convention patrons alike. I flipped through it and was immediately enamored. We purchased five copies and he thanked me and walked out to his van to share a can of tuna with his cat. 

Seriously, this dude was hard core. Like Black Flag era Henry Rollins mixed with a crazy cat lady. And I love him and everything he stands for. But for the life of me I can't remember his name. It's not in the comic and I can't seem to find it online anywhere. He's like a ghost. An amazing ghost who produces strange comics. And not just strange. This is the strangest book you will ever see. In a great way. Welcome, my friends... to Cathair Apocalypse!

This is the story of a post apocalyptic world where the humans have finally become extinct (we all  new it was inevitable) and the cats of the world have gained dominance of the planet (also inevitable). 

The odd thing about this book is that the anonymous creator has taken a ton of photos of different cats and drew costumes around the photos to make up the characters in each panel. Something that sounds obnoxious and uninteresting... until you actually see it!

It's very lovingly done with obvious patience and skill. So, now that you know what we're looking at here I'll get into the story...

Lord Cutemungus and his band of marauders are pillaging the civilized realms for their wealth and catnip as he kidnaps the young kittens to rope into his gang.  

The king's daugher, Luscratchia volunteers to face this cur!

Meanwhile, Cutemungus offers his followers freedom as he leads them to take the royal palace!
Then we get a little of the world fleshed out. Apathy takes its toll on some as they waste away in a catnip den.

We also get a little exposition explaining how the cats grew tired of bowing to their human overlords and overtook the structures meant to enslave them. 

The cats who were able to seize control of the milk and tuna factories of the world became the new leaders. 

We are then treated to a glimpse of the corrupt kitty clergy as they devise political plots and experiment with expired McDonalds chicken nuggets and honey mustard to commune with the ancient and gain their wisdom.

But when the king overdoses on this hallucinogen the litter hits the fan!

The marauding lifestyle seems to be taking its toll on Lord Cutemungus. He reveals he is ready to settle down with his lover.

On her way to intercept Cutemungus, Luscratchia's vehicle becomes stuck in the fur of The Friska Potamus, a giant kitty whose very belly is the landscape!

Lord Cutemungus comes to her rescue at the last moment and Friska burrows into the desert sand.

Cutemungus and Luscratchia reveal they are indeed secret lovers no doubt with political plans of their own! 

Thus ends the first issue of Cathair Apocalypse. But it really doesn't end there at all. The mysterious creator of this book has made an app (#cathairapp) to allow readers to upload pics of their own kitties into sweet and bizarre costumes and scenes!

There are also ads detailing how one might purchase apparel with such images on them (shirts, mugs,  pillows, etc), buy home delivered all natural biodegradable cat litter or even just connect with the cat entertainment we all secretly crave!

I have to tell you, I tried to draw a couple of different characters from this book but my artwork could do no justice to the awesome photo mashups in the book. So, instead, I decided to try my hand at it with the below pic of my pal Goo (who lived with me for nineteen years and departed this world in December of last year) with the amazing King Buzzo of the Melvins! What fun.

Oh, and by the way our store sold all five copies of Cathair Apoc so we restocked...and sold out again! We need more!!

Thanks for joining me and be sure to find a copy of Cathair #1 for yourself. You won't regret it! Visit the website at

And stop by in a few weeks to see what this next treasure is all about...

Saturday, June 2, 2018

Peter Risk Monster Masher #1

Peter Risk Monster Masher #1 March 1987
U.S. $1.50 Canada $2.25 U.K. 80 P
M.E. Comix (A Division of McNeil Entrepreneurs, Inc.) East Point, GA.
Story and Art by Peirre R. McNeil

   Earth scientists discovered an enormous black hole on the outer fringes of Pluto that bridges our Milky Way galaxy with that of a newly formed galaxy. An extremely wicked creature named DeathMeg the Destroyer is searching through this new galaxy for a super element called Omeganite. He will mutate and enslave anyone who gets in his way on his hunt for Omeganite. Only an elite band of warriors called Monster Mashers can hope to prevent DeathMeg's dark plans. 

   Peter Risk and his fellow Mashers are on their way to investigate a distress signal when their craft is attacked by a Megabeast that kills everyone except for him. He is now the only remaining Masher! Can he alone stop the evil DeathMeg? This is where our story starts!

Risk dodges the blasts of the demon bat created by DeathMeg. He fires upon the Megabeast with the energy of a thousand suns, draining the power from his own armor in the process! But his Omni-Nova blast kills the Megabeast and creates a cosmic fission reaction that is ingested by Risk's energy absorber. He then drifts into the gravitational pull of a nearby planet the Mashers were heading toward before they encountered the Megabeast.

On that planet Risk finds a land rich in vegetation and clean atmosphere. Unfortunately it is also riddled with the sounds of mortar fire. A war is on!

Risk sees a group of resistance fighters led by Princess Soumya, a busty blonde warrior with a shirt five sizes too tight for her chest. She and her fellow fighters are barely withstanding the onslaught of  the Clonetroopers (aka the Dogs of DeathMeg)! 

We're then treated to this evil dude ordering the firing of his phallic cannon! 
There's certainly lots of sexuality on display here so far, my goodness!

But then suddenly a Nephilim, another monstrous creation of the evil DeathMeg, is unleashed!
Risk creates a diversion to draw the Nephilim away from the others before just straight up kicking his ass!

Now that the battle has been won Risk saunters up to meet these warriors (he seems to have a particular interest in one of them. Guess which one...that's right! The one with the bazoongas! How'd you know?)

Princess Soumya and her crew recognize Risk as disciple of her father, Cretan the original Monster Masher!
The then invite Risk back to Cretana, the island where they live. It looks like some kind of H.R. Giger-esque genitalia structure as we are treated to this shot of Risk and crew entering its gaping doorway.

We find out that Cretana is a hidden fortress made of pure Omeganite (the super element that DeathMeg craves)! To show her gratitude for Risk's heroics Princess Soumya spreads her curtains to reveal an inviting did this actually just become a porn comic?

Risk enters her tunnel...ahem...and finds his reward. The Parasite Fighter! His mentor Cretan's craft long thought by the Monster Mashers to have been destroyed when Cretan was killed.

Soumya and Risk board the fighter together and head out to locate the source of the distress signal that originally led he and his fallen Monster Mashers to this planet in the first place.

Wow! What at comic! It was a super weird hero comic in the vein of Jack Kirby's Fourth World books like Forever People and New Gods. I truly thought at one point it was about to become x-rated, but I'm glad it didn't. Don't get me wrong, I like porn comics about as much as I like hero comics but I guess I prefer them to not really cross over. Especially when the work is so Kirby inspired. 
It seems disrespectful to the King somehow.
That said, I do like the title Forever Pee Pole as a porn parody if there's gotta be one.

Anyway, according to what I found out online there are three issues of Peter Risk Monster Masher out there and I will definitely be on the lookout for the other two in my future dollar bin diving! Great work, Pierre!

Oh, and as if this story wasn't enough, there is a sweet backup feature by Thomas Davis called Cho. This story starts with Cho in a gun battle with some mutant thugs Cho is attempting to outrun. 

But here's the cool part... Cho pulls out two Ace cards from a deck in his belt and throws them like weapons at the mutant thugs! This comic was published three years before the first appearance of Gambit in Marvel Comics Uncanny X-men! Make Mine Me Comix!

The backup story is just as sweet as the main story and I would certainly love to read more of Cho's adventures (he ends up in a fedora and trenchbcoat and hitting 300 mph on a motorcyle with a chicken's head painted on the side then crashing the bike as he shoots a spaceship full of his enemies out of the sky then pulling one of them from the wreckage and beating out of him the information he needs to know regarding who they work for... Bad. Ass.)

Well, as much as I loved Cho I still decided to draw Risk and Soumya, the real stars of this comic.

So, sorry I missed posting in May. Things just kind of got away from me. But I'll post again before the end of June to get things back on track. Don't miss my next exciting pick of a comic book...