Saturday, June 2, 2018

Peter Risk Monster Masher #1

Peter Risk Monster Masher #1 March 1987
U.S. $1.50 Canada $2.25 U.K. 80 P
M.E. Comix (A Division of McNeil Entrepreneurs, Inc.) East Point, GA.
Story and Art by Peirre R. McNeil

   Earth scientists discovered an enormous black hole on the outer fringes of Pluto that bridges our Milky Way galaxy with that of a newly formed galaxy. An extremely wicked creature named DeathMeg the Destroyer is searching through this new galaxy for a super element called Omeganite. He will mutate and enslave anyone who gets in his way on his hunt for Omeganite. Only an elite band of warriors called Monster Mashers can hope to prevent DeathMeg's dark plans. 

   Peter Risk and his fellow Mashers are on their way to investigate a distress signal when their craft is attacked by a Megabeast that kills everyone except for him. He is now the only remaining Masher! Can he alone stop the evil DeathMeg? This is where our story starts!

Risk dodges the blasts of the demon bat created by DeathMeg. He fires upon the Megabeast with the energy of a thousand suns, draining the power from his own armor in the process! But his Omni-Nova blast kills the Megabeast and creates a cosmic fission reaction that is ingested by Risk's energy absorber. He then drifts into the gravitational pull of a nearby planet the Mashers were heading toward before they encountered the Megabeast.

On that planet Risk finds a land rich in vegetation and clean atmosphere. Unfortunately it is also riddled with the sounds of mortar fire. A war is on!

Risk sees a group of resistance fighters led by Princess Soumya, a busty blonde warrior with a shirt five sizes too tight for her chest. She and her fellow fighters are barely withstanding the onslaught of  the Clonetroopers (aka the Dogs of DeathMeg)! 

We're then treated to this evil dude ordering the firing of his phallic cannon! 
There's certainly lots of sexuality on display here so far, my goodness!

But then suddenly a Nephilim, another monstrous creation of the evil DeathMeg, is unleashed!
Risk creates a diversion to draw the Nephilim away from the others before just straight up kicking his ass!

Now that the battle has been won Risk saunters up to meet these warriors (he seems to have a particular interest in one of them. Guess which one...that's right! The one with the bazoongas! How'd you know?)

Princess Soumya and her crew recognize Risk as disciple of her father, Cretan the original Monster Masher!
The then invite Risk back to Cretana, the island where they live. It looks like some kind of H.R. Giger-esque genitalia structure as we are treated to this shot of Risk and crew entering its gaping doorway.

We find out that Cretana is a hidden fortress made of pure Omeganite (the super element that DeathMeg craves)! To show her gratitude for Risk's heroics Princess Soumya spreads her curtains to reveal an inviting did this actually just become a porn comic?

Risk enters her tunnel...ahem...and finds his reward. The Parasite Fighter! His mentor Cretan's craft long thought by the Monster Mashers to have been destroyed when Cretan was killed.

Soumya and Risk board the fighter together and head out to locate the source of the distress signal that originally led he and his fallen Monster Mashers to this planet in the first place.

Wow! What at comic! It was a super weird hero comic in the vein of Jack Kirby's Fourth World books like Forever People and New Gods. I truly thought at one point it was about to become x-rated, but I'm glad it didn't. Don't get me wrong, I like porn comics about as much as I like hero comics but I guess I prefer them to not really cross over. Especially when the work is so Kirby inspired. 
It seems disrespectful to the King somehow.
That said, I do like the title Forever Pee Pole as a porn parody if there's gotta be one.

Anyway, according to what I found out online there are three issues of Peter Risk Monster Masher out there and I will definitely be on the lookout for the other two in my future dollar bin diving! Great work, Pierre!

Oh, and as if this story wasn't enough, there is a sweet backup feature by Thomas Davis called Cho. This story starts with Cho in a gun battle with some mutant thugs Cho is attempting to outrun. 

But here's the cool part... Cho pulls out two Ace cards from a deck in his belt and throws them like weapons at the mutant thugs! This comic was published three years before the first appearance of Gambit in Marvel Comics Uncanny X-men! Make Mine Me Comix!

The backup story is just as sweet as the main story and I would certainly love to read more of Cho's adventures (he ends up in a fedora and trenchbcoat and hitting 300 mph on a motorcyle with a chicken's head painted on the side then crashing the bike as he shoots a spaceship full of his enemies out of the sky then pulling one of them from the wreckage and beating out of him the information he needs to know regarding who they work for... Bad. Ass.)

Well, as much as I loved Cho I still decided to draw Risk and Soumya, the real stars of this comic.

So, sorry I missed posting in May. Things just kind of got away from me. But I'll post again before the end of June to get things back on track. Don't miss my next exciting pick of a comic book...

Sunday, April 8, 2018

The New Adventures of Shaloman #1

The New Adventures of Shaloman #1  1991
$1.95 USA $2.45 Canada
Published by Al Wiesner Philadelphia, PA.
Story and Art by Al Wiesner

A fishing boat full of fresh carp pulls into the dock one warm summer night and the tired crew unloads their haul. But just after they do a couple of shady looking fellas sneak up and spray a chemical into the catch! 

We then get a glimpse into the secret headquarters of L.A.T.K.E. (or the League of Angry, Tough Knocker Evil)! The group is gloating about the success of their efforts to ruin another haul of fish from the Father's Fish Company. Their plan is to use a Gelfite fish recipe to amass a fortune which will be used to get rid of their nemesis, Shaloman. And as if on cue...

Our hero detects something fishy going on (groan all you want, I didn't come up with that one. It's in the comic!) and heads out to investigate.
He makes his way to the dock that night where once again some thugs are attempting to ruin a fresh haul of fish.

The thugs try to stop him but he clobbers them instead! Unfortunately Shaloman forgot to ask who the two goons were working for before he laid them out so he is unable to stop the plot at it's source.

Mr. Karp, owner of Father's Fish is kidnapped by another goon and forced to drive to their lair!
There he meets L.A.T.K.E.'s mysterious leader, The Greaser!

The gang makes Karp try their Gelfite fish. Greaser tells him that he will start using their recipe and pay millions of dollars each month for the privilege. Karp asks for some horseradish and is given some of Dr. Shmek's homemade Haise Horseradish, which he claims is amazingly hot!

Karp tastes the fish and horseradish... but claims there's no kick to it. He tells them it might be worth ten bucks a month but certainly not millions.

L.A.T.K.E. is furious! But just then who should show up but our hero, Shaloman!

He busts in and kicks their asses!

The Greaser escapes like the slippery devil he is but Shaloman saves the day by rescuing Mr. Karp and returning him to his office at The Father's Fish Company. Then Karp says he has to get their recipe because even if the horseradish was sub-par, the Gelfite fish was unbelievable!

Well, there you have it. The New Adventures of Shaloman issue one. It was a decent read with reasonably good art and story. Nothing to blow your mind but a fun comic for kids for sure. Shaloman is known as The Man of Stone, The Defender of the Downtrodden and also The Kosher Crusader. Wow, that's a lot of nicknames! 

There are several Shaloman comics out there (I have seen a few digging through boxes of comics) so if you have any interest in reading his adventures please do so! 

Creator Al Wiesner said he wanted to make a positive Jewish super hero role model for kids and did so with his creation Shaloman (Shalom means "peace" in Hebrew).

Which reminds me of a joke. How does Moses make coffee? He brews it! Ha!

Anyway, here's a portrait of my favorite character in the book, Shaloman's nemesis The Greaser!

You have to come back next month to see what fantastical action awaits us all when we dive into Peter Risk Monster Masher #1!

Thursday, March 1, 2018

Gun Dog Comics #1

Gun Dog Comics #1 1996 
$2.95 USA $4.25 Canada
Gun Dog Comics Publishing Division Starkville, MS
Story and Art by Eric Yonge

Scott and Shelly have parked on a dark road to fool around a bit. Shelly is nervous because they are minutes away from being out past the curfew. A curfew that went into effect when two young men, Roland Riley and Donny Sims went missing four months ago here in Boardtown.

Shelly suddenly notices something in the dark lane in front of their's Roland! 
And so begins our story..."Rule of Thumb!"

He is alive, but in "pretty rough shape" as described by Detective Banks who begins investigating the case. Traumatized and unable to speak Roland couldn't tell anyone what had happened to him. 

Banks decides to interview the new guy in town, one Morton Dean Durant, or Modean for short. Here he is now.

During the interrogation we find out that Modean has just inherited Bluewood Estates from his recently deceased great uncle Cecil, an odd fellow who was involved in some controversial government sound acoustics experiments in the '50's. 

Banks at first thinks Modean had something to do with Roland's reappearance last night, but eventually realizes Modean is most likely innocent. Most likely...

Modean stops by the First Baptist Church Daycare where his girlfriend Charene "Chuck" Woodward works. It's almost Halloween and they make plans to go to Octoberfest just before Modean notices a strange looking kid sitting off by himself in the playground. Enter Gordon Gooch.

Chuck tells Modean that Gordon is an angel, he just has a pituitary problem that makes him all hairy and creepy looking. Just then Gordon's grandpa Gregory stops by to pick up the little fella. He tells Chuck and Modean to stop by to see their display at Octoberfest. Even though he looks just the right amount of hairy, Gregory seems a little creepy too.

Later that night at Octoberfest our couple happens upon Gooch's Gallery of Gore! A collection of old sci-fi movie memorabilia that the Gooches set up like a little museum each year at the fest.

Inside they see a movie poster for an old film called "Segor the Space Sucker". Modean laughs and begins telling Chuck how hilariously awful the special effects were in the movie. But suddenly Mr. and Mrs. Gooch step out of the shadows to defend Segor's good name. Gregory Gooch says, "If you're interested in Segor... well, there he is" and reveals the life size Segor statue in the display.

Gregory asks Modean not to speak ill of Segor, it's a favorite amongst the Gooches. Then Glenda Gooch interjects that she believes Segor might have actually come to life and kidnapped those two boys that went missing. Gregory is furious with his wife for even suggesting such a thing! 

While the Gooches argue, Chuck and Modean sneak off. They talk about the weird mysteries surrounding Boardtown. Modean walks off for a minute and Chuck is snatched up by... Segor!

She awakens tied up in some sort of shed. But she soon finds she is not alone. Donny Sims, the other kid that went missing four months ago is there too!

Segor approaches and removes his head to reveal it is actually Gregory Gooch in costume! Gooch goes on to tell Chuck his whole story. When he and his brother were kids they heard about Modean's great uncle Cecil. They were so curious to know about the top secret government experiments he was conducting at Bluewood Estates and so one night ...they snuck in!

Through a window in Cecil's home they saw him at work. They peered in and watched until suddenly his experiment reached critical mass. They were hit with the force of the sound machines from Cecil's experiment and knocked unconscious. When they came to they saw Segor the alien. He told them that the sound experiments turned them into freaks! Freaks that could now hear thoughts the way most people hear sound.

Even though the alien turned out to just be a hallucination their thought sucking powers were indeed real. 

The Gooch goes on to explain what happened to poor Roland. The Gooch brothers kidnapped him and sucked the thoughts right out of his head. This left him the traumatized mess he was when the two young lovers at the beginning of the story found him stumbling around in the dark.

Chuck had heard enough. It was time for action! She slipped out of the ropes the Gooch had her tied up in and delivered a flying kick to his unsuspecting noggin!

Chuck then goes deep into the Gooch's lair where she finds Modean held captive. She releases him but he is attacked by a groggy Gooch who begins sucking the thoughts of Modean. It turns out whatever is in Modean's head is too much for Gooch! 

An explosion from the experience sends Gooch flying! Is he dead? Maybe!

Chuck raises the valid question that if Gregory Gooch got transformed into this creature of vampire like power then what happened to his brother?

We then cut to a lady opening her door to what she believes an ordinary trick 'r treater...

Look out lady...I think young Gordon is actually Gregory Gooch's brother instead of his grandson! Who knows what power the little monster has!!

I would like to say this is probably my favorite book I have read for Bewildering. It was so weird and fun with fantastic artwork and imagery. It was as if Charles Burns and Mike Allred and Rob Liefeld all contributed ideas and designs to one of the strangest comics it has been my pleasure to stumble across. 

Here is my version of Gordon Gooch in tribute to the fantastic work of Eric Yonge.

Doesn't look like there are any more issues of this amazing book out there but Yonge did do some more comic work like Gunner and The Hat Squad. Check them out if you happen upon a copy.

Well, as difficult a task as it might prove to be to top this month's comic, I have faith it could be done by...Shaloman!

Join me next month to see what treasures await us upon reading it!

Thursday, February 1, 2018

Martian Summers #1

Martian Summers #1 1989
Thumbprint Productions, Springfield, Virginia by David Neal Miller,
Sara Wildberger and Will Heyniger

The Way of All Flesh (our story title) unfurls with an opening featuring a Martian landscape and a quote from none other than Rodney Dangerfield. Okay, I'm in!

New Monaco, the Las Vegas of the stars (that is celestially and not referring to gamblers of celebrity status) where all manner of debauchery is available under its protective domes.

We slowly make our way into the apartment of a sleeping couple. When the alarm clock beeps and the lights come up it is revealed that the couple look like someone Rowdy Roddy Piper gawks at with his shades on in 'They Live'. Skinless bodies with all the muscles visible! Gross. I see their intestines. Someone just ate shrimp and corn!

Miranda tries on different skins as she decides who she wants to be today. I couldn't even imagine that kind of pressure. I've worn the same exact pairs of pants and shoes for a month and it still takes me a half hour to figure out what to wear in the mornings.

Her lover August gets out of bed to grab a shower. He tells her to wear her own skin, it's the one he likes best anyway. Awww, what a sweetie!

There are a couple of confusing pages here layout wise that I had to reread to figure out the panel order.  It's something that unfortunately really takes me out of the reading experience when it happens but luckily it is a problem that doesn't persist as the story continues.

Miranda gets dressed and makes an offhanded remark about how her job is great because it's as "warm as the Earth and all the slash you can slide down your throat." As if mouthing my own words, August pokes his skinless face out of the shower and asks, "What was that?'

She changes the subject and asks August not to bust the club she'll be working at. She needs the money. So, I guess August is some kind of Martian cop (like J'onn J'onzz). Awesome!

Miranda plants a kiss on her skinless fella and they say their goodbyes as they both head to their respective jobs.

Now, that's a great image!

August reports into work and is told he will be impersonating a man by the name of Aggart, a thug who is scheduled to give a report this evening to a group of scum known as "Core". A report, that is, on some kind of illegal import/export business going down. Hmmm... could it be that "slash" stuff Miranda was talking about earlier?

Miranda meets with the boss at her new job who hints that like a terrible Foreigner song he'd like her to do more than dance for some new clients tonight. Miranda declines like the classy Martian she is. She calls August and tells him to stop by the club and get some free drinks. He tells her he's working tonight but might just take her up on that after the meeting (which is taking place at her work)! 

August is supposed to just go in impersonating Aggart, record the thugs saying what they're up to and then get out of there. Seems easy enough until a call comes in from another thug who says he tried to bust Aggart out of jail but had failed to do so. Oh no, August's cover is blown!

A brawl ensues!

The bad guys escape before August's backup arrives. August meets up with Miranda who sarcastically thanks him for costing her a job. He embraces her, saying she has everything she needs already, but her thoughts reveal she may have a secret need that even August doesn't know about!

Oh no! Miranda's a slashhead! The End!

Well, I liked the freaky Clive Barker Hellraiser-esque visuals of the skinless August in a suit kicking ass so here is my rendition:

Alright! That certainly was an interesting one even if it was a quick read (there was a three page backup story that was completely unrelated so I'm not going into describing that one here). 

I thought the story was just fine and the artwork interesting and well done. Other than a couple of confusing pages at the beginning of the book it was a pretty good read.

There never was an issue two to this series so I guess we'll all have to come up with our own ending. I'm guessing Miranda, in a different skin, overdoses on slash and August is the one to find her body. Not recognizing her at first August discovers the horrible truth while in pursuit of the ringleader of this "Core".He then single handedly busts the drug ring in New Monaco and kills those responsible for getting the drugs into his sweetheart's hands.

He then quits the force and disguises himself in the skin of a pilot and leaves Mars once and for all.

At least that's my imaginings. What do you think happened?

If any of the creators of this book happen upon this post please enlighten us. 

Also, check out the sweet back cover to the book. Might be my favorite image in the entire comic!

Thanks to everyone for reading and be sure to check back in a month for my next review:

Until then, keep an eye out for the buried treasures in the bewildering world of small press and independent comics!