Wednesday, July 4, 2018

Cathair Apocalypse #1

Cathair Apocalypse #1 2016
$5

In the summer of 2016 I was working at the comic shop when a fellow walked in with an energy and air about him that was wholly unique. He was dressed in black with cat tattoos upon  his arms. He went on to explain how he was an artist for some of the DC Comics kids books (Scooby Doo, I want to say) and was tired of not being able to pay his mortgage on the paltry amount of money he made from his work for hire drudgery. 

That is why he made the plunge into the deep end of creativity and produced Cathair apocalypse! This was his new creator owned comic that he (along with  his pet cat) was touring across this fine nation selling copies to comic shops and convention patrons alike. I flipped through it and was immediately enamored. We purchased five copies and he thanked me and walked out to his van to share a can of tuna with his cat. 

Seriously, this dude was hard core. Like Black Flag era Henry Rollins mixed with a crazy cat lady. And I love him and everything he stands for. But for the life of me I can't remember his name. It's not in the comic and I can't seem to find it online anywhere. He's like a ghost. An amazing ghost who produces strange comics. And not just strange. This is the strangest book you will ever see. In a great way. Welcome, my friends... to Cathair Apocalypse!


This is the story of a post apocalyptic world where the humans have finally become extinct (we all  new it was inevitable) and the cats of the world have gained dominance of the planet (also inevitable). 

The odd thing about this book is that the anonymous creator has taken a ton of photos of different cats and drew costumes around the photos to make up the characters in each panel. Something that sounds obnoxious and uninteresting... until you actually see it!

It's very lovingly done with obvious patience and skill. So, now that you know what we're looking at here I'll get into the story...

Lord Cutemungus and his band of marauders are pillaging the civilized realms for their wealth and catnip as he kidnaps the young kittens to rope into his gang.  


The king's daugher, Luscratchia volunteers to face this cur!


Meanwhile, Cutemungus offers his followers freedom as he leads them to take the royal palace!
Then we get a little of the world fleshed out. Apathy takes its toll on some as they waste away in a catnip den.


We also get a little exposition explaining how the cats grew tired of bowing to their human overlords and overtook the structures meant to enslave them. 


The cats who were able to seize control of the milk and tuna factories of the world became the new leaders. 

We are then treated to a glimpse of the corrupt kitty clergy as they devise political plots and experiment with expired McDonalds chicken nuggets and honey mustard to commune with the ancient and gain their wisdom.


But when the king overdoses on this hallucinogen the litter hits the fan!



The marauding lifestyle seems to be taking its toll on Lord Cutemungus. He reveals he is ready to settle down with his lover.


On her way to intercept Cutemungus, Luscratchia's vehicle becomes stuck in the fur of The Friska Potamus, a giant kitty whose very belly is the landscape!


Lord Cutemungus comes to her rescue at the last moment and Friska burrows into the desert sand.


Cutemungus and Luscratchia reveal they are indeed secret lovers no doubt with political plans of their own! 

Thus ends the first issue of Cathair Apocalypse. But it really doesn't end there at all. The mysterious creator of this book has made an app (#cathairapp) to allow readers to upload pics of their own kitties into sweet and bizarre costumes and scenes!


There are also ads detailing how one might purchase apparel with such images on them (shirts, mugs,  pillows, etc), buy home delivered all natural biodegradable cat litter or even just connect with the cat entertainment we all secretly crave!


I have to tell you, I tried to draw a couple of different characters from this book but my artwork could do no justice to the awesome photo mashups in the book. So, instead, I decided to try my hand at it with the below pic of my pal Goo (who lived with me for nineteen years and departed this world in December of last year) with the amazing King Buzzo of the Melvins! What fun.


Oh, and by the way our store sold all five copies of Cathair Apoc so we restocked...and sold out again! We need more!!

Thanks for joining me and be sure to find a copy of Cathair #1 for yourself. You won't regret it! Visit the website at cathairapocalypse.com

And stop by in a few weeks to see what this next treasure is all about...


Saturday, June 2, 2018

Peter Risk Monster Masher #1



Peter Risk Monster Masher #1 March 1987
U.S. $1.50 Canada $2.25 U.K. 80 P
M.E. Comix (A Division of McNeil Entrepreneurs, Inc.) East Point, GA.
Story and Art by Peirre R. McNeil

   Earth scientists discovered an enormous black hole on the outer fringes of Pluto that bridges our Milky Way galaxy with that of a newly formed galaxy. An extremely wicked creature named DeathMeg the Destroyer is searching through this new galaxy for a super element called Omeganite. He will mutate and enslave anyone who gets in his way on his hunt for Omeganite. Only an elite band of warriors called Monster Mashers can hope to prevent DeathMeg's dark plans. 

   Peter Risk and his fellow Mashers are on their way to investigate a distress signal when their craft is attacked by a Megabeast that kills everyone except for him. He is now the only remaining Masher! Can he alone stop the evil DeathMeg? This is where our story starts!


Risk dodges the blasts of the demon bat created by DeathMeg. He fires upon the Megabeast with the energy of a thousand suns, draining the power from his own armor in the process! But his Omni-Nova blast kills the Megabeast and creates a cosmic fission reaction that is ingested by Risk's energy absorber. He then drifts into the gravitational pull of a nearby planet the Mashers were heading toward before they encountered the Megabeast.


On that planet Risk finds a land rich in vegetation and clean atmosphere. Unfortunately it is also riddled with the sounds of mortar fire. A war is on!


Risk sees a group of resistance fighters led by Princess Soumya, a busty blonde warrior with a shirt five sizes too tight for her chest. She and her fellow fighters are barely withstanding the onslaught of  the Clonetroopers (aka the Dogs of DeathMeg)! 


We're then treated to this evil dude ordering the firing of his phallic cannon! 
There's certainly lots of sexuality on display here so far, my goodness!

But then suddenly a Nephilim, another monstrous creation of the evil DeathMeg, is unleashed!
Risk creates a diversion to draw the Nephilim away from the others before just straight up kicking his ass!


Now that the battle has been won Risk saunters up to meet these warriors (he seems to have a particular interest in one of them. Guess which one...that's right! The one with the bazoongas! How'd you know?)


Princess Soumya and her crew recognize Risk as disciple of her father, Cretan the original Monster Masher!
The then invite Risk back to Cretana, the island where they live. It looks like some kind of H.R. Giger-esque genitalia structure as we are treated to this shot of Risk and crew entering its gaping doorway.


We find out that Cretana is a hidden fortress made of pure Omeganite (the super element that DeathMeg craves)! To show her gratitude for Risk's heroics Princess Soumya spreads her curtains to reveal an inviting chamber....um...whoa...did... did this actually just become a porn comic?


Risk enters her tunnel...ahem...and finds his reward. The Parasite Fighter! His mentor Cretan's craft long thought by the Monster Mashers to have been destroyed when Cretan was killed.


Soumya and Risk board the fighter together and head out to locate the source of the distress signal that originally led he and his fallen Monster Mashers to this planet in the first place.

Wow! What at comic! It was a super weird hero comic in the vein of Jack Kirby's Fourth World books like Forever People and New Gods. I truly thought at one point it was about to become x-rated, but I'm glad it didn't. Don't get me wrong, I like porn comics about as much as I like hero comics but I guess I prefer them to not really cross over. Especially when the work is so Kirby inspired. 
It seems disrespectful to the King somehow.
That said, I do like the title Forever Pee Pole as a porn parody if there's gotta be one.

Anyway, according to what I found out online there are three issues of Peter Risk Monster Masher out there and I will definitely be on the lookout for the other two in my future dollar bin diving! Great work, Pierre!

Oh, and as if this story wasn't enough, there is a sweet backup feature by Thomas Davis called Cho. This story starts with Cho in a gun battle with some mutant thugs Cho is attempting to outrun. 


But here's the cool part... Cho pulls out two Ace cards from a deck in his belt and throws them like weapons at the mutant thugs! This comic was published three years before the first appearance of Gambit in Marvel Comics Uncanny X-men! Make Mine Me Comix!


The backup story is just as sweet as the main story and I would certainly love to read more of Cho's adventures (he ends up in a fedora and trenchbcoat and hitting 300 mph on a motorcyle with a chicken's head painted on the side then crashing the bike as he shoots a spaceship full of his enemies out of the sky then pulling one of them from the wreckage and beating out of him the information he needs to know regarding who they work for... Bad. Ass.)

Well, as much as I loved Cho I still decided to draw Risk and Soumya, the real stars of this comic.



So, sorry I missed posting in May. Things just kind of got away from me. But I'll post again before the end of June to get things back on track. Don't miss my next exciting pick of a comic book...




Sunday, April 8, 2018

The New Adventures of Shaloman #1


The New Adventures of Shaloman #1  1991
$1.95 USA $2.45 Canada
Published by Al Wiesner Philadelphia, PA.
Story and Art by Al Wiesner

A fishing boat full of fresh carp pulls into the dock one warm summer night and the tired crew unloads their haul. But just after they do a couple of shady looking fellas sneak up and spray a chemical into the catch! 


We then get a glimpse into the secret headquarters of L.A.T.K.E. (or the League of Angry, Tough Knocker Evil)! The group is gloating about the success of their efforts to ruin another haul of fish from the Father's Fish Company. Their plan is to use a Gelfite fish recipe to amass a fortune which will be used to get rid of their nemesis, Shaloman. And as if on cue...



Our hero detects something fishy going on (groan all you want, I didn't come up with that one. It's in the comic!) and heads out to investigate.
He makes his way to the dock that night where once again some thugs are attempting to ruin a fresh haul of fish.


The thugs try to stop him but he clobbers them instead! Unfortunately Shaloman forgot to ask who the two goons were working for before he laid them out so he is unable to stop the plot at it's source.


Mr. Karp, owner of Father's Fish is kidnapped by another goon and forced to drive to their lair!
There he meets L.A.T.K.E.'s mysterious leader, The Greaser!

The gang makes Karp try their Gelfite fish. Greaser tells him that he will start using their recipe and pay millions of dollars each month for the privilege. Karp asks for some horseradish and is given some of Dr. Shmek's homemade Haise Horseradish, which he claims is amazingly hot!


Karp tastes the fish and horseradish... but claims there's no kick to it. He tells them it might be worth ten bucks a month but certainly not millions.

L.A.T.K.E. is furious! But just then who should show up but our hero, Shaloman!


He busts in and kicks their asses!



The Greaser escapes like the slippery devil he is but Shaloman saves the day by rescuing Mr. Karp and returning him to his office at The Father's Fish Company. Then Karp says he has to get their recipe because even if the horseradish was sub-par, the Gelfite fish was unbelievable!


Well, there you have it. The New Adventures of Shaloman issue one. It was a decent read with reasonably good art and story. Nothing to blow your mind but a fun comic for kids for sure. Shaloman is known as The Man of Stone, The Defender of the Downtrodden and also The Kosher Crusader. Wow, that's a lot of nicknames! 

There are several Shaloman comics out there (I have seen a few digging through boxes of comics) so if you have any interest in reading his adventures please do so! 

Creator Al Wiesner said he wanted to make a positive Jewish super hero role model for kids and did so with his creation Shaloman (Shalom means "peace" in Hebrew).

Which reminds me of a joke. How does Moses make coffee? He brews it! Ha!

Anyway, here's a portrait of my favorite character in the book, Shaloman's nemesis The Greaser!


You have to come back next month to see what fantastical action awaits us all when we dive into Peter Risk Monster Masher #1!


Thursday, March 1, 2018

Gun Dog Comics #1


Gun Dog Comics #1 1996 
$2.95 USA $4.25 Canada
Gun Dog Comics Publishing Division Starkville, MS
Story and Art by Eric Yonge

Scott and Shelly have parked on a dark road to fool around a bit. Shelly is nervous because they are minutes away from being out past the curfew. A curfew that went into effect when two young men, Roland Riley and Donny Sims went missing four months ago here in Boardtown.


Shelly suddenly notices something in the dark lane in front of their car...it's Roland! 
And so begins our story..."Rule of Thumb!"


He is alive, but in "pretty rough shape" as described by Detective Banks who begins investigating the case. Traumatized and unable to speak Roland couldn't tell anyone what had happened to him. 

Banks decides to interview the new guy in town, one Morton Dean Durant, or Modean for short. Here he is now.


During the interrogation we find out that Modean has just inherited Bluewood Estates from his recently deceased great uncle Cecil, an odd fellow who was involved in some controversial government sound acoustics experiments in the '50's. 

Banks at first thinks Modean had something to do with Roland's reappearance last night, but eventually realizes Modean is most likely innocent. Most likely...

Modean stops by the First Baptist Church Daycare where his girlfriend Charene "Chuck" Woodward works. It's almost Halloween and they make plans to go to Octoberfest just before Modean notices a strange looking kid sitting off by himself in the playground. Enter Gordon Gooch.


Chuck tells Modean that Gordon is an angel, he just has a pituitary problem that makes him all hairy and creepy looking. Just then Gordon's grandpa Gregory stops by to pick up the little fella. He tells Chuck and Modean to stop by to see their display at Octoberfest. Even though he looks just the right amount of hairy, Gregory seems a little creepy too.


Later that night at Octoberfest our couple happens upon Gooch's Gallery of Gore! A collection of old sci-fi movie memorabilia that the Gooches set up like a little museum each year at the fest.

Inside they see a movie poster for an old film called "Segor the Space Sucker". Modean laughs and begins telling Chuck how hilariously awful the special effects were in the movie. But suddenly Mr. and Mrs. Gooch step out of the shadows to defend Segor's good name. Gregory Gooch says, "If you're interested in Segor... well, there he is" and reveals the life size Segor statue in the display.


Gregory asks Modean not to speak ill of Segor, it's a favorite amongst the Gooches. Then Glenda Gooch interjects that she believes Segor might have actually come to life and kidnapped those two boys that went missing. Gregory is furious with his wife for even suggesting such a thing! 

While the Gooches argue, Chuck and Modean sneak off. They talk about the weird mysteries surrounding Boardtown. Modean walks off for a minute and Chuck is snatched up by... Segor!

She awakens tied up in some sort of shed. But she soon finds she is not alone. Donny Sims, the other kid that went missing four months ago is there too!


Segor approaches and removes his head to reveal it is actually Gregory Gooch in costume! Gooch goes on to tell Chuck his whole story. When he and his brother were kids they heard about Modean's great uncle Cecil. They were so curious to know about the top secret government experiments he was conducting at Bluewood Estates and so one night ...they snuck in!

Through a window in Cecil's home they saw him at work. They peered in and watched until suddenly his experiment reached critical mass. They were hit with the force of the sound machines from Cecil's experiment and knocked unconscious. When they came to they saw Segor the alien. He told them that the sound experiments turned them into freaks! Freaks that could now hear thoughts the way most people hear sound.


Even though the alien turned out to just be a hallucination their thought sucking powers were indeed real. 

The Gooch goes on to explain what happened to poor Roland. The Gooch brothers kidnapped him and sucked the thoughts right out of his head. This left him the traumatized mess he was when the two young lovers at the beginning of the story found him stumbling around in the dark.

Chuck had heard enough. It was time for action! She slipped out of the ropes the Gooch had her tied up in and delivered a flying kick to his unsuspecting noggin!


Chuck then goes deep into the Gooch's lair where she finds Modean held captive. She releases him but he is attacked by a groggy Gooch who begins sucking the thoughts of Modean. It turns out whatever is in Modean's head is too much for Gooch! 

An explosion from the experience sends Gooch flying! Is he dead? Maybe!


Chuck raises the valid question that if Gregory Gooch got transformed into this creature of vampire like power then what happened to his brother?

We then cut to a lady opening her door to what she believes an ordinary trick 'r treater...


Look out lady...I think young Gordon is actually Gregory Gooch's brother instead of his grandson! Who knows what power the little monster has!!

I would like to say this is probably my favorite book I have read for Bewildering. It was so weird and fun with fantastic artwork and imagery. It was as if Charles Burns and Mike Allred and Rob Liefeld all contributed ideas and designs to one of the strangest comics it has been my pleasure to stumble across. 

Here is my version of Gordon Gooch in tribute to the fantastic work of Eric Yonge.


Doesn't look like there are any more issues of this amazing book out there but Yonge did do some more comic work like Gunner and The Hat Squad. Check them out if you happen upon a copy.

Well, as difficult a task as it might prove to be to top this month's comic, I have faith it could be done by...Shaloman!


Join me next month to see what treasures await us upon reading it!